Getting Along with Each Other (3)
Getting along with each other requires more than compliance, it calls for cooperation. So make sure you let the other person know their feelings are valid! Never try to talk anyone out of how they ‘feel’. Listen without being defensive, and nod that you understand—even when you don’t agree. Feelings aren’t always true or logical, but they are real. David said, ‘When my… feelings were hurt, I was… stupid.’ (Psalm 73:21–22 GNT) We all act badly when we’re hurt. But Solomon says, ‘A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offence.’ (Proverbs 19:11 NIV) Being willing to try and understand someone’s feelings says, ‘I care about our relationship more than our differences; you matter to me.’ Yes, it’s a sacrifice to patiently take somebody’s anger, especially when it’s unfounded. But remember, that’s what Jesus does for you! Getting along with each other means that you must confess your part. Jesus said, ‘...First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.’ (Matthew 7:5 NLT) Since we all have blind spots, get a friend to help you judge your attitudes and actions before meeting with the other person. Ask God, ‘Am I part of the problem? Am I unrealistic, insensitive or too sensitive?’ Confession is a powerful tool! When you can admit your own faults, it defuses the other person’s anger because they’re expecting you to be defensive. Don’t make excuses or shift the blame, just acknowledge your part. You say, ‘That’s hard to do.’ Yes, but God ‘...has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.’ (2 Corinthians 5:18 GWT)